Losing my humanity

I’m not a fan of meetings but I understand they are necessary. Some may even call them necessary evils.

However, there is one meeting that I do love. It’s Newsong’s weekly staff meeting. We gather at 9:30 AM every Wednesday to worship, celebrate, share stories and to unite as family. It’s our weekly rhythm to align ourselves “to only do what we see the Father doing”. (John 4)

And in this sacred time, I am regularly reminded of how good He is and how much more He wants to reveal to us.

Today was no exception. It was such a powerful moment for me. All the clutter and noise that clouded my mind faded and these simple words of worship provoked me.

“All I am,
and all I will be,
I surrender.”

I became aware of the amount of energy I spent in boiling down my life to vision and mission statements, talking points, value statements, titles and logos.

I lost my humanity and replaced it with a brand.

I was reminded how all of us were created to be one of kind Masterpieces.

I was reminded that the value we bring to the world is who we are today, not who we will become.

I was reminded that life is not about making our significance, but discovering it.

I was reminded of the richness and depth of identity and purpose will take a lifetime or more to fully comprehend.

And as we repeated the chorus,

“All I am,
and all I will be,
I surrender.”

Joy and Peace filled my soul. Freedom filled the atmosphere as I once again surrendered my master plans for, as my friend Mel McGowen puts it, the Master’s plan.

The pressure and stress of defining my purpose, my destiny, my calling, etc… fell off like heavy armor falling off of David before he conquered Goliath. The weight of societal and cultural pressures to know the answers to “Who am I” and “Why I exists” lifted. And like a beautiful sunset after the rain, the dark clouds illuminated with the rich, vibrancy colors of the setting sun.

The dark clouds of claiming my plans as God’s plans, the sweat and toil of finding purpose, the void that is created by society and culture saying you are not enough, where artfully painted over by light of the truth.

The truth that I am His beloved, no matter what.

It was beautiful.

And with this freedom, I can Hope. Hope for purpose, calling, destiny and a plan He has for me. And take it day by day following and trusting author and perfecter of my faith. (Hebrew 12)

David was a worshiper, a giant slayer and King. Which came first?

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